December 28, 2012

Blessed Laments


Blessed Laments

By Marisa Bernhard

One day, I am actually going to wake up and see what I have missed. I once had a glimpse of me, I was smart like Einstein, Marie Curie and whoever invented penicillin! I was cool like Janice Joplin, Stevie Nicks and all the hippy girls on my block when I was five.

You see I wear holey jeans with black clogs, clogs that are splattered with paint from my sister’s basement!  But I comb my hair, wear chocolate lip gloss with eye shadow, spray on Chanel No. 5, and I love pearls! That’s me too! SO WHAT!

I cry often it blurs my vision; I worry and agonize habitually – does it numb me? I think so! I wonder if everyone sees what I feel and often claim to no one don’t you see why I am this way!

In the morning I painstakingly sew up all my open wounds tucking inside them like batting my fears and worries----will this ever end!  I want to say SO WHAT but that frightens me too! I am put together a train wreck of sorts I face the outside.

I sit in boxes; boxes that move, boxes that don’t – all day long ….finally I come back and need to listen to something other than the my voice shouting all my mistakes that I created since the beginning of time……some days its Van – “Glad Tidings” plays loud and I can open my ears and hear laughter and see smiles all around me!

I am truly blessed!!!!!!! For they are not far and they do not judge….we rescued one another – they love, I love, they look, I smile, they laugh, I listen - They heal; I am healed!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

February 24, 2012

Minstrel's Song: Being Quiet .....

Minstrel's Song: Being Quiet .....: Silence By Marisa Bernhard When she spoke, she didn’t speak with grace or with smooth flow of words. Her speech was always choppy and...

February 18, 2012

Minstrel's Song: Being Quiet .....

Minstrel's Song: Being Quiet .....: Silence By Marisa Bernhard When she spoke, she didn’t speak with grace or with smooth flow of words. Her speech was always choppy and...

Being Quiet .....

Silence      By Marisa Bernhard

When she spoke, she didn’t speak with grace or with smooth flow of words. Her speech was always choppy and broken up.
She struggled with words, not because of an impediment of any kind but because it was so much easier for her to be silent.
Ah! Silence a pause a rest.   Keeping her lips resting on top of one another, her tongue resting behind her lower teeth, was one her favorite things to do. She didn’t need to struggle trying to get her point across, or explain herself to anyone, and lastly, she didn’t have to respond to anyone speaking to her.
All she had to do was breathe. Inhale air through her nose, not wanting to disturb her tongue, teeth, or lips. 
She would fill up her chest with air, and when she exhaled her eyes closed; her upper body, torso, neck, and head gestured as if she would collapse into nothingness. 
Again she continued breathing in oxygen through her nostrils and filling up her lungs.  As she sucked in her belly, and expelling all the air out of her body, trying so desperately to shrink into another form. 

February 14, 2012

The Dragon And The Dragonfly

The Dragon & the Dragonfly
By Marisa Bernhard

The opposite of me is you.
You are a gentle giant.
I am a creature, fragile at first glance.
Look again and you will see my vitality.
We balance each other’s spirit!
I fly through time…
You trample over the land.
My song quick, I flutter, I take to the air,
I soar, not much to say.
Your fiery voice scorches all.
It soothes my soul.
The opposite of you is I.
I glistened by… you caught me and proclaimed an angel!
My wings wrapped around your heart.
Your eyes calmed my spirit.
Friends we became,
As one, we explored the land …
Your thoughts are my thoughts.
My fears are your fears.
Our needs are ours’.
My purpose is to take care of you.
My friend be at peace.
I hover around you, handling you with care!
I watch over you and color your dreams…
My wings flutter at your sight.
I soar all around proclaiming my love, or announcing my discontent - your gentle silence quiets my mind.
You are the dragon who found a friend and I am the dragonfly that flew into your heart!

January 28, 2012

Sigh!

Sigh!
By Marisa Bernhard

Hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah!
Hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah!
I prayed to you … I prayed to her some time ago!  I asked for your blessing.
I asked her for a miracle. My prayers forgo!  I cried for years … the tears filled my soul.
I am empty inside; I grieve for the love my heartaches!  How could you say no?
I am angry and enraged!  My worth trodden. Can it get any worse?
I think I could be losing everything! Please end this curse!
I cannot ask again.  It befalls insane.
You, She, He & Devine, have heard my pleas.
My words harsh, at times my tongue incensed.
Do I ask for your pardon?  I do not know…  I am hurt and troubled.
My heart broken, my spirit absent, all my beliefs lost.
My petition silent … it fills the vacant space in my heart.
It is there for you to find.
I say nothing, I sigh my prayer without a sound.
Amen…So Be It!

Going Forward

Minstrel’s Song is a poem I wrote many years ago; it came about after a dream I had. My first intent for this blog was to acquaint myself or gain knowledge with poetry by displaying poetry or quotes that mean something to me. Learn from poets and display their work. For some time I have been receiving a poem of the day to my email; I read it yet I don't have the drive to dissect it and figure out what was the poets purpose. Another plan was to expose the world of poetry and hopefully in the process gain some literacy knowledge to share. I thought by doing this I would feed my soul- a soul who is desperately asking for help. Recently I received some messages from a variety of sources - magazines, TV, and daily reflections. And the truth is that I need to share my own poems as well as write and create. If I don't create I destroy. Sounds quite dramatic but I hear her pleads, whispers that fill my mind with worries, regrets, anger and mainly fear. Because of this I decided that Minstrel’s Song will be the home of my poetry I will share with you what I create.  I hope you enjoy!